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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2025

What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?
– If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.

What’s the purpose of the propeller?
-To keep the pilot cool. Doubt it? Stop the propeller and watch the pilot sweat.

A vegan, a cross-fitter, and a Marine walk into a bar…
-I know it because they announced it as soon as they walked in.

Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time?
-To see 20:20.

Did you hear about the karate master who joined the military?
– He saluted and nearly chopped off his own head.

What’s the difference between the Boy Scouts and the Army?
-The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

What do you call an American Naval ship hijacked by pirates?
-USS-Arrrr!

Words of wisdom from the front lines:
-The coffee tastes better if the latrines are downstream from the encampment.

The morning radio announcer on the AFES station in Anchorage AK was giving the time one morning at 8 AM.
-He said, for those of you in the Air Force, it is 8 AM, the Army, it is 0800 hours, the Navy, it is 8 bells, and for the Marines, the little hand is on the 8 and the big hand is on the 12.

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”
-“My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.”
“Oh? And what does your father do?”
“He’s in the Army, sir.”

What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?
-A bombardeer.

How do you keep a Marine happy in his old age?
-Tell him a joke when he’s young.

What do you call a shipment full of military-issued t-rexes?
-Small arms.

Why was the sergeant mad when his son brought home an A in math?
-His son spent more time dividing than conquering.

What’s the difference between a PFC and a 2nd lieutenant?
-The PFC has been promoted twice.

I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue.
-I thought they were the aqua-marines.

How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
-One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him.

What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?
-A platoon.

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