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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2025

Why is pea soup better than mashed potatoes?
– Because anyone can mash potatoes.

Why did the bacteria cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide.

A male frog calls the psychic hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
– The frog is thrilled. “This is great,” he says. “Will I meet her in a bar?”
– “No,” says the psychic. “In her biology class.”

Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to dozens of countries and learned to speak several languages?
– He was a man of many cultures.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.”
– The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “I’m positive.”

Thought of this while making breakfast.
– What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair?

– A cup of yogurt.

Why are all the viruses gone?
– They flu away.

What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
– The nucleus

Did you hear someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet?
– Right now the cops have nothing to go on.

How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?
– He caught the garter snake.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, but they’re a solid #2.

What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
– The nucleus.

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets?
– Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Why don’t bacteria gamble in Las Vegas?
– Because they believe a good flush always beats a full house.

What did the biologist wear on his first date with the pretty girl?
– Designer genes.

There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.
– Number one and number two.

Why did the paramecium cross the road?
– To get to the diffuser bar in time for happy hour.

A couple of biologists had twins…
– They named one Jessica and the other Control.

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