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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2025

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect.
– Apparently he was ambidextrose.

What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
– Let’s make like an amoeba and split.

Did you just mutate for a stop codon?
– Because you’re talking nonsense!

Why did the microbiologist cross the road?
– To get to the other slide!

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
– To get to the other slide.

Met a microbiologist this morning
– He was bigger than I expected.

What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?
– Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

What is the definition of paramecium?
– Two Latin mice.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…
– Guess my thymine was off.

We just hired a new molecular biologist.
– Wow, isn’t she small?

Don’t drink water while studying…
– chemistry states that concentration decreases upon adding water.

What is bacteria?
– The rear entrance to cafeterias.

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
– “Mitosis!”

I was counting the money in my wallet and I remembered my microbiologist friend saying that money is the dirtiest thing you can touch all day. Turns out I have $144 in cash,
– But I guess that’s just gross….

What was the fish’s least favorite class?
– Algae-bra

I saw a microbiologist is person today…
– He was much bigger in real life

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
– A fsh.

Did you just mutate for a stop codon?
– Because you’re talking nonsense!

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