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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2025

Did you hear someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet?
– Right now the cops have nothing to go on.

How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?
– He caught the garter snake.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, but they’re a solid #2.

What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
– The nucleus.

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets?
– Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Why don’t bacteria gamble in Las Vegas?
– Because they believe a good flush always beats a full house.

What did the biologist wear on his first date with the pretty girl?
– Designer genes.

There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.
– Number one and number two.

Why did the paramecium cross the road?
– To get to the diffuser bar in time for happy hour.

A couple of biologists had twins…
– They named one Jessica and the other Control.

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

Why did the bacteria cross the road?
– To prove he wasn’t chicken.

A microbiologist went over to his colleague at the bar and said…
– ‘I see you are also a man of culture.’

Why are men sexier than women?
– You can’t spell sexy without xy.

What did the conservative biologist say?
– The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
– H2O cubed.

Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force?
– Because it can’t make food without the light!

What types of flowers do bacteria like?
– Germaniums

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