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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2025

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
– Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Where do bacteria go when they are confused?
– The clarifier.

What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?
– “Woopea!”

How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
– Romeostasis.

Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.
– I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect.
– Apparently he was ambidextrose.

What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
– Let’s make like an amoeba and split.

Did you just mutate for a stop codon?
– Because you’re talking nonsense!

Why did the microbiologist cross the road?
– To get to the other slide!

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
– To get to the other slide.

Met a microbiologist this morning
– He was bigger than I expected.

What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?
– Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

What is the definition of paramecium?
– Two Latin mice.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…
– Guess my thymine was off.

We just hired a new molecular biologist.
– Wow, isn’t she small?

Don’t drink water while studying…
– chemistry states that concentration decreases upon adding water.

What is bacteria?
– The rear entrance to cafeterias.

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
– “Mitosis!”

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