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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2024

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
– Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

A microbiologist went over to his colleague at the bar and said…
– ‘I see you are also a man of culture.’

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says DAM!

Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to dozens of countries and learned to speak several languages?
– He was a man of many cultures.

Why was the scuba diver disappointed in his biology grade?
– Because his score was below sea level.

What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
– Pull down its genes!

Why do bacteria like nitrates so much?
– They’re cheaper than day rates.

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect…
– Apparently, he was ambidextrose.

Why is pea soup better than mashed potatoes?
– Because anyone can mash potatoes.

Why did the bacteria cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide.

A male frog calls the psychic hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
– The frog is thrilled. “This is great,” he says. “Will I meet her in a bar?”
– “No,” says the psychic. “In her biology class.”

Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to dozens of countries and learned to speak several languages?
– He was a man of many cultures.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.”
– The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “I’m positive.”

Thought of this while making breakfast.
– What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair?

– A cup of yogurt.

Why are all the viruses gone?
– They flu away.

What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
– The nucleus

Did you hear someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet?
– Right now the cops have nothing to go on.

How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?
– He caught the garter snake.

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