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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2025

Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

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What is “HIJKLMNO”?
– H2O

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Where do protozoa go to practice long jumping?
– The hopper.

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What did the endoplasmic reticulum say to the Golgi?
– “I like your body,” it said.
– Golgi replied, “It’s complex.”

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A couple of biologists had twins.
– They named one Jessica and the other Control.

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What do you call a sewer expert?
– A connoissewer.

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What did Cinderella say while reading a biology textbook?
– “I hate mitosis.”

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What’s the tiniest virus in the world?
– Smallpox.

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Y’all want to hear a Potassium joke?
– K

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Did you hear about Robin Hood’s house?
– It has a Little John.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
– H2O cubed.

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Where did the microbiologist go after receiving his PhD?
– …to a cell-laboratory gathering

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If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
– Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

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Where do bacteria go when they are confused?
– The clarifier.

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What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?
– “Woopea!”

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How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
– Romeostasis.

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Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.
– I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.

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A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect.
– Apparently he was ambidextrose.

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