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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2025

What could have been the best name for diarrhea medicine?
– Gonorrhea (Gone-o-rrhea)

[OC] How did the Mexican doctor double a patient’s medicine?
-He gave him a dosage

A boy goes to the doctor and gets some medicine prescribed
-The next week he comes back and the doctor asks him: well, how did it go? Did you do as I said? Every day 1 teaspoon of the medicine and a warm bath? I tried, the boy replies, but I just couldn’t finish the warm bath!

My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path
-They let me pick which medical school I’m going to

Some advice: never take medicine offered by ducks.
-They’re quack doctors.

I have this unusual medical condition where I can’t stop making silly airport puns.
-The doctor says it’s terminal.

Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
-Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.

I’m doing a study with hospitalized children to see if laughter really is the best medicine. So I came to Reddit, because I just knew there would be people here who could tell the children some jokes …
-… that could serve as a placebo for the control group

When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
-When god presented Moses with two tablets

You know what you call the stupidest graduate from the worst medical school in the country?
– Doctor.

My father always said laughter was the best medicine…
-Which is why I was so confused when I finally tried cocaine in the 80s

Why don’t Africa supply medicine?
– Because you’re not supposed to eat medicine on an empty stomach

When is a fetus viable?
To a Christian, it’s the moment of conception. To a Jew, it’s when he graduates from medical school.
-my mom heard this on the radio

Medicine for COVID-19
-Can’t find this on the package, should I take one toilet paper roll before or after a meal?

Why aren’t sweatshop workers hired as medical staff?
-If I’m getting stitches I want to know they’re as good as the ones in my jeans.

Doctor: I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s.
– Patient: Well, at least I don’t have cancer.

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?
-Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

I just bought a haunted boomerang from an old medicine man in the outback.
-That’ll come back to haunt me.

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