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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2025

Medicine ads on TV be like: Secondary effects: You may die
-Okay then

We were about to observe our first autopsy in medical school, and my friend asked me, “What do you think it’ll be like?”
-I said, “Remains to be seen.”

I keep all my medicines in the ceiling
-It’s my drug attic.

Doctor: You need to take this medicine after eating food
-African kid: *cries*

If you ask Kamala Harris’ Indian relatives what she does for work
-“She has an internship in Politics but she is studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school.”

I asked my doctor what was the best cough suppressant medicine I could buy over the counter.
-Laxatives.
I have since completely stopped coughing.

Where do snowmen go in a medical emergency?
– The ICY-U

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
-Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

There are 3 farmers, let’s call them A, B and C. Which one is the best with medicine?
-Farmer C

What medicine is praised for being a murderer?
– A pain killer

What was Zeus” specialty in medical school?
-Surge-ery

Why did the cat need medicine?
-Because it wasn’t feline too good.

Why did the tractor sell medicines?
-Because it was a farm assist!
… I’m sorry…

When I die, I’m donating my body to science.
– It’s the only way I’ll ever get into medical school.

If laughter is the best medicine
– your face must be curing the world

Kek day joke: What do you call the person who graduates medical school with the lowest GPA?
-Doctor.

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
– Nurse: No change yet.

Doctor: how’s the flu medicine going for you? I know it’s a little bitter
– Patient: No, the medicine’s fine, can’t even taste anything when I take it

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