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Medical Jokes 💉 in 2025

There’s a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
– But I’m not buying it.

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school
-She’s a cadaver.

In medical school, you really do learn something new every day…
-…for instance, today I learned that it’s inappropriate to refer to infertile people as “seedless”.

I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls.
-He’d do anything to get a head

Courtesy of my 5 year old: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
-To stop his coffin.

We were about to observe our first autopsy in medical school, and my friend asked me, “What do you think it’ll be like?”
-I said, “Remains to be seen.”

I keep all my medicines in the ceiling
-It’s my drug attic.

Doctor: You need to take this medicine after eating food
-African kid: *cries*

Where do snowmen go in a medical emergency?
– The ICY-U

If you ask Kamala Harris’ Indian relatives what she does for work
-“She has an internship in Politics but she is studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school.”

I asked my doctor what was the best cough suppressant medicine I could buy over the counter.
-Laxatives.
I have since completely stopped coughing.

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
-Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

There are 3 farmers, let’s call them A, B and C. Which one is the best with medicine?
-Farmer C

What medicine is praised for being a murderer?
– A pain killer

What was Zeus” specialty in medical school?
-Surge-ery

Why did the cat need medicine?
-Because it wasn’t feline too good.

Why did the tractor sell medicines?
-Because it was a farm assist!
… I’m sorry…

Kek day joke: What do you call the person who graduates medical school with the lowest GPA?
-Doctor.

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