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Mechanic jokes 👨‍🔧 in 2024

My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn’t think I knew about cars
– I took my car to get an oil change and they were like “would you like us to rotate your tires?” I was like “Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over jackass!”

Which occasion is most crucial in a mechanic’s life?
– His ten-gear anniversary!

Heard about the new fuel-efficient green car?
– It’s not a hybrid.

Why did the mechanic have a disappointing fashion show?
– There was no time to change attire.

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise
– He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Found out my mechanic dealt weed on the side,
– now he’s my spark plug.

You installed a cold air intake and a new muffler on your car
– Tell me more about what good mechanic you are

What did the painter say to the mechanic?
– “Oh, nice car, but where did my Van-Go?”

Heard about the car thief?
– The police are working tirelessly to get hold of him.

I think I’m gonna go to school to become an elevator mechanic…
– …although I’ve heard the job has some serious ups and downs.

Rednecks be like
– “My uncle is a mechanic”

The mechanic was seen having snacks and some coffee in the garage. He must be on his brake!

Why was the car engine humming?
– Because it ran out of words!

Why does a motorbike needs a stand?
– Because it is two tyred.

Why are KKK members terrible mechanics?
– They never check under the hood.

Why was the dog left in the garage?
– Because it was a barking garage!

Heard about the dinosaur who got into a car accident?
– It was a Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

A man goes to the mechanic.
– He says “My car goes rr- rr-rr-”
– The mechanic says “Yes, the transmission probably needs replacing.”
– The man frowns and says “My car goes rr-rr-rr-”
– The mechanic says “Yes, the transmission probably needs replacing.”
– The man looks angry and says “Would you l-let me ff-finish! I have a ss-stutter. My car goes rr-rr-rr-really slowly uphill!”
– The mechanic says “Yes, the transmission probably needs replacing.”

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