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Marvel jokes 🦸‍♂️🕷 in 2025

Marvel have announced their newest Superhero team, one consisting entirely of Trans-woman.
– The Ex-Men.

Which superhero has the neatest clothes?
– The Iron-ing Man.

Why was Cyclops made in charge of X-Men?
– Professor X made him the supervisor.

Which Marvel actress got arrested stealing a truck of soft French cheese?
– Brie Larceny.

Thanos’s snap in infinity war would’ve had a greater impact if marvel made it seem that half of the audience wasn’t there,
– But apparently only DC movies can do that.

What did Steve Rogers say to Carol Danvers?
– Marvelous work, Captain.

Why doesn’t Ant Man like to play video games?
– Because he lost to Ultron way too many times.

What game does Professor Xavier like the most?
– Sit n Spin.

What do you call Peter Parker when he wakes up in a bad mood?
– Grumpy Neighborhood Spider-Man.

How many Marvel Characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Just one, but every couple of months another one changes the same lightbulb.

When Captain America was younger, what did people call him?
– They called him Lieutenant America.

What would you call it if The Hulk, Captain America and Thor met at the Ikea?
– It’d be called ‘The Avengers: Some Assembly Required’.

What about Clint’s sister who spies on people?
– I haven’t heard of her, but I guess she’s called Hawk-ears.

What OS uses the Marvel supervillain?
– Than OS

What do you call it when Peter Quill has nothing to do?
– Star-Bored

Which superhero visits the dentist the most?
– The Plaque Panther.

What’s always missing from Tony Stark’s kitchen?
– The Pepper Potts.

Why wasn’t Thor able to find his brother?
– It’s because he couldn’t Lokite him.

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