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Marvel jokes 🦸‍♂️🕷 in 2025

What’s the difference between Magneto and a suitcase?
– Magneto has only one outfit.

What do you call it when Peter Quill has nothing to do?
– Star-Bored

I support statehood for DC
– But also Marvel and Dark Horse.

Who always watches over Thor?
– Thor’s Asgardian angel.

What do people call Mark Ruffalo on set when he’s in a bad mood?
– Mark Rough Fellow.

What is Ironman’s favorite movie?
– Ferrous Bueller.

What’s always missing from Tony Stark’s kitchen?
– The Pepper Potts.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?
– Because people marvel at what’s holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

What would you call Bruce Banner if he didn’t speak to anyone?
– The Incredible Sulk.

If X-Men rebelled against Professor X, what would be called?
– It’d be called Mutanty.

They don’t call me the Mighty Thor for no reason.
– My spidey senses tell me you’re going to fall for me harder than Gwen Stacy. (Oof!)

How does Ant Man keep his suit wrinkle free?
– With help from Iron Man.

What time of the day is Magneto’s favorite?
– Magnet-o’clock.

Even though the Titanic was not a marvel of engineering
– the pools are. Been up and running without maintenance since the day they were opened.

What did Iron Man say to Ant-man?
– He said, “stop bugging me”.

Why did they ban Hulk from the Honda dealership?
– Because he threw a Fit.

Why did Spider-Man join the swim team?
– Because he had webbed feet.

What color are the lights in Wanda’s house?
– I don’t know, but you turn them on with a Scarlet Switch.

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