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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2025

Hello Iโ€™m (Name) and Iโ€™m an alcoholicโ€ฆ Oh wait! Wrong speech!

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, โ€œYou know, Iโ€™ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€
– โ€œBecause every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.โ€

I was never really aware of how much blood, sweat and tears went into arranging a wedding.
Hours of discussion, debate and disagreementโ€”and finally he/she asked me to marry him/her.

For those of you who donโ€™t know me, Iโ€™m Matt.
I have been Timโ€™s mate for 2 days now, he found my advert on a website as he hasnโ€™t got many friends so had to hire someone for the day.

When your wife/husband gets a little upset, just remember a simple โ€˜calm downโ€™ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her/him a lot more upset.

Itโ€™s not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets.

The groom is the kind of guy you donโ€™t have to worry about introducing your parents to.
Thatโ€™s why (Bride) didnโ€™t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.

The Groom has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis.
– So, on his behalf, Iโ€™d like to thank the following people for not comingโ€ฆ

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Theyโ€™ve been together for so many years, instead of the Wedding March the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus.

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