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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2025

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Didnโ€™t she (the bride) look absolutely gorgeous as she swept down the aisle. Well, (groomโ€™s name), you can be sure thatโ€™s the very last time you will see her sweep!

My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. I asked her how she colored it and she said she didnโ€™t know what I was talking about.

There was one time when (Groomโ€™s name) was asked, โ€œWhat is (Brideโ€™s name) favorite flower?โ€
– To which he had no hesitation in replying, โ€œSelf-Rising!โ€

Hello Iโ€™m (Name) and Iโ€™m an alcoholicโ€ฆ Oh wait! Wrong speech!

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, โ€œYou know, Iโ€™ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€
– โ€œBecause every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.โ€

I was never really aware of how much blood, sweat and tears went into arranging a wedding.
Hours of discussion, debate and disagreementโ€”and finally he/she asked me to marry him/her.

For those of you who donโ€™t know me, Iโ€™m Matt.
I have been Timโ€™s mate for 2 days now, he found my advert on a website as he hasnโ€™t got many friends so had to hire someone for the day.

When your wife/husband gets a little upset, just remember a simple โ€˜calm downโ€™ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her/him a lot more upset.

Itโ€™s not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets.

The groom is the kind of guy you donโ€™t have to worry about introducing your parents to.
Thatโ€™s why (Bride) didnโ€™t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.

The Groom has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis.
– So, on his behalf, Iโ€™d like to thank the following people for not comingโ€ฆ

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Theyโ€™ve been together for so many years, instead of the Wedding March the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus.

Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in
: โ€œYes, dear.โ€

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who donโ€™t.
The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Iโ€™ve fallen in love with a pencil and weโ€™re getting married.
I canโ€™t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

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