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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2025

My wife and I always compromise.
I admit Iโ€™m wrong and she agrees with me.

On their wedding night, a groom asks his new bride, โ€œHoney, am I your first?โ€ She says, โ€œWhy does everyone ask me that?โ€

Just asked my wife what sheโ€™s โ€œburning up for dinnerโ€ and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings.

When I first started dating my wife she asked me what some of my dreams were.
I told her one was about a T-Rex who didnโ€™t get a job because he couldnโ€™t tie a tie.
She meant goals.

I need to make this speech quick because my date for the night charges by the hour.

They joke that a woman finds a man she loves for exactly who he is and then spends her life trying to change him.
So letโ€™s all raise our glasses and take a last look at the Groom.
Weโ€™re gonna miss you, buddy!

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

For those of you without the internet, Iโ€™ll update you on the Brideโ€™s Facebook account, which sheโ€™s secretly using under the table as I speak.
(checks phone) Her status has been changed to โ€˜marriedโ€™, both of her parents immediately โ€˜dislikedโ€™ this, and 32 guys in this room have already โ€œpokedโ€ her.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, โ€œYou know, I was a fool when I married you.โ€ And the husband replied, โ€œYes, dear, but I was in love and didnโ€™t notice it.โ€

Now I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasnโ€™t available.
So if you canโ€™t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reโ€assure you that youโ€™re not missing out on anything.

I must inform you that Iโ€™ve had rather a heavy night and Iโ€™m still feeling a little fragile.
Therefore please spare a thought and try not to clap and yelp too loudly during my speech, however tempting that might be.
Youโ€™d think Iโ€™d know better than to be out boozing in the early hours just before a big wedding, but I donโ€™t like to see the groom drinking alone.

โ€œIf I could just say a few words, Iโ€™d be a better public speaker!โ€

Whatโ€™s the difference between love and marriage?
– Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!

โ€œThe moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.โ€

Iโ€™m not a yes man to my wifeโ€”when she says no, I say no.

โ€œPeople are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.
Actually, it is no secret at all.
I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.โ€

A little boy asked his father, โ€œDaddy, how much does it cost to get married?โ€
– And the father replied, โ€œI donโ€™t know, son, Iโ€™m still paying for it.โ€

Firstly, Iโ€™d just like to say Iโ€™m very nervous about making this speech.
In fact this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

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