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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2025

Unaccustomed to public speaking as I am, I have been fairly nervous before todayโ€™s speeches, however the groom was very good and took me aside to help calm me, he said if I did a really good job and went easy on him, I could be the best man at his next wedding.

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The groom and I have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man.
He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no.
Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no.
He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no.
Then he asked me, and, after turning him down the first three times, I couldnโ€™t refuse again.

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She (the bride) loves the finer things in life. I overheard her when the minister was going through the vowsโ€”she said โ€œWhatโ€™s all this garbage about for richer or for poorer?โ€

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Marriage is like going to a restaurant.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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โ€œAny husband who says, โ€˜My wife and I are completely equal partnersโ€™, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.โ€

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My wife ran off with my best friend last week.
I miss him!

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Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail.

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My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.

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Just listen up while I tell you about this couple, and Iโ€™ll make it seem like the shortest 45 minutes of your life

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasnโ€™t much, but the reception was excellent.

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For those of you who donโ€™t know me, my name is (Name) and for those of you that do โ€ฆ well I apologize.
My full name is actually โ€˜(Name) would-you-like-a-drinkโ€™ For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, Iโ€™d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

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Son: Dad, Iโ€™ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesnโ€™t know his wife until he marries her.
Father: Son, thatโ€™s true everywhere.

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Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Take advantage of that as much as you can.

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Husband: โ€œHow can I? I donโ€™t even know her.โ€

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Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.
If there is anybody here who is feeling worried, nervous or apprehensive, youโ€™re either me (because I am) or you just married (groomโ€™s name).

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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.

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Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that, โ€˜This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purposes.โ€

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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, โ€œNothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.โ€ So I bought her nothing.

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