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Marriage jokes ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฐ in 2025

There are three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and most importantly the catering.

Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in
: โ€œYes, dear.โ€

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who donโ€™t.
The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Iโ€™ve fallen in love with a pencil and weโ€™re getting married.
I canโ€™t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

What makes a good wife?
One who helps her husband with the washing up! And, Whatโ€™s the last thing youโ€™ll say to you wife before going to sleep?
It doesnโ€™t matter what I say, youโ€™ll buy it anyway.

I havenโ€™t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen monthsโ€ฆ. I donโ€™t like to interrupt her.

Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Do you know why the king of hearts married the Queen of hearts?
– They were perfectly suited for each other.

Iโ€™d also like to congratulate the groom on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

Taking my husbandโ€™s last name doesnโ€™t mean Iโ€™m not a feminist; it means I donโ€™t want anyone I went to high school with to be able to find me ever again.

He has been in love with the same woman for 25 yearsโ€”I hope his wife doesnโ€™t find out.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are โ€œI apologizeโ€ and โ€œYou are right.โ€

Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Man: โ€œI havenโ€™t spoken to my wife in 18 months.โ€
Friend: โ€œWhy not?โ€
Man: โ€œI donโ€™t like to interrupt her.โ€

Any married man should forget his mistakes, thereโ€™s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

My wife gave birth four times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.
– I gave birth 0 times and I havenโ€™t fit in my pants since March.

โ€œMarriage is like a video game. Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.โ€

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