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Lobster jokes 🦞 in 2025

Why is the lobster wearing seashells?
– Because she was shore they were current-ly trending.

Why couldn’t the woman eat shrimp, lobsters, and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor?
– She has shellfish steam issues.

I wouldn’t let Sean Connery play with my pet lobsters.
– He called me a “Shellfish Basterd.”

How did the lobster get home last night?
– He took a crab.

Have you heard, the new lobster neighbors didn’t give any gifts to anyone on Christmas?
– They’re quite shellfish.

What would you call a marine crustacean who’s the gangster of the sea?
– The mobster lobster.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
– One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

Why did the lobster blush?
– It saw the ocean’s bottom.

Where do lobsters and crabs go when they have to catch their trains?…
– They all go to King’s Crustation.

What is the basic difference between a lobster and a mobster?
– Just one ransom letter.

Did you hear about the fight at Red Lobster?
– Four fish were battered!

A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night and he gets crabs
– So the next day, he goes back to complain.

What does the crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster?
– “I don’t quite sea it that way!”

What is the favorite shot of one lobster in tennis?
– The ‘lob’.

Why did the little lobster start wearing fancy clothes to the posh pier school?
– She did it out of pier pressure.

What do you call a crab that throws things?
– A lobster.

You hear about the fight at red lobster?
– Four fish were battered!

When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed “Where’s my ice cream cone?
– “Well”, he said. “I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too.”

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