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Lobster jokes 🦞 in 2025

Have you found your lost lobster yet?
– No, it’s just a lost claws now.

Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet?
– Probably because he spent a lot of years at C.

Why was the ocean screaming?
– You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!

What Did Sean Connery Say When He Received A Free Order Of Lobster?
– “Would you like a bite? I’m not feeling shellfish today.”

Why were the lobsters scoring at the lowest end of the C?…
– That’s because they all dropped out of school.

How was your lobster last night?
– It was pretty rude, it kept imitating my accent.

Weren’t you a professional lobster fisherman?
– Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand.

What’s worse than lobsters on your pianos?
– Crabs on your organs.

Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
– In the clawset.

If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?…
– Snappy talk.

Why were the lobsters out celebrating?
– Probably because it was the festive sea-son.

Where do the lobsters normally work at the bread factory?
– At the crust station.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?
– A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces?
– Claw-strophobic.

What is the perfect name for a pet lobster?
– Clawde.

Why did the lobsters like working at the Red Lobster?
– Probably because it gets them out of their shells.

Did you hear about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle?
– He did it on porpoise.

I was boiling a lobster, and it started screaming…
– I felt bad, so I drove it to the woods and set it free.

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