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Lobster jokes 🦞 in 2025

Did you hear about the lobster who rode a sea animal to travel the seas?
– He said that he did it on porpoise.

What do you call a tired and overworked lobster?
– A frustracean.

Waitress, do you have a lobster tail?
– Waitress:’Yes. Once upon a time there was a little lobster called Lenny and …”

What’s worse than lobsters on your piano?
– Crabs on your organ!

Where do lobsters go when they need to borrow some money?…
– To the prawn brokers.

Where do lobsters go when they need to borrow some money?
– To the prawn brokers.

What did the lobster fisherman say when he found his crate empty on the wharf?
– He said, “There a-piers to be a problem.”

Why did the lobster go to the physical therapist?
– It pulled a mussel.

I dated a woman who thought she was a lobster.
– She was the most shellfish person I ever met.

How do lobsters elude taxes?
– They arrange shell companies.

What would you call a lobster who’s uncomfortable with tight spaces?
– It’d be claw-strophobic.

Did you know that all lobsters are very sail-ective eaters?
– They only go for s-pacific foods.

What’s worse than lobsters on your piano?
– Crabs on your organ.

Why don’t lobsters like tennis?
– Because they are afraid of the net!

Why didn’t the crab and lobster get along?…
– They were too shellfish.

Which passengers were happiest when the Titanic started sinking?
– The lobsters in the kitchen.

I went to a seafood restaurant and asked how they prepared the lobster.
– The waiter got quiet and simply said, “We just tell him the truth, man. ‘This is the end of the line.’”

What’s the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who’s been run over by a bus?
– One’s a crustacean, the other’s a crushed Asian.

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