Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
– Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!” Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”
– Little Johnny: “Up and down or across?”

– Teacher: “What do you mean?”

– Little Johnny: “Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!”

Teacher: “Where does your mother come from?”
– Little Johnny: “Alaska!”
– Teacher: “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself!”

Johnny was a chemist, a chemist who’s no more
– What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?”
– LIttle Johnny: “At the bottom!”

Head teacher: “Are you in the top half of your class?”
– Little Johnny: “No, I’m one of the students who make the top half possible!”

Little Johnny asks his dad “How much does it cost to get married dad?” His dad replies
– ” Well Son, I’m Not Too Sure, You See I Am Still Paying For It.”

Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.

Teacher: “I told you to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, the cow ate all the grass!”

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word “definitely” in a sentence.
– Little Johnny replies: “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?”

– The Teacher says: “Of course not Johnny.”

– To which Johnny replies: “Then I have definitely shit my pants.”

Teacher: “What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?”
– Little Johnny: “I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!”

What did little Johnny’s mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?
– She grounded him.

Teacher: “What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?”
– Little Johnny: “I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!”

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.
– ”If you had eleven dollars and I asked you for a loan of six dollars, how much would you have left?” said the teacher.
– Little Johnny replied ”eleven dollars”.
– ”Why eleven?” the teacher said.
– ”You may ask for a loan of six dollars, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it!” replied Little Johnny.

Teacher: “You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?”
– Little Johnny: “How did you know?”
– Teacher: “Fred’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you have added ‘Me, neither’!”

What did the police do when Johnny Cash got arrested?
– They made him walk the line.

Little Johnny’s preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: “Does anyone know what this is?”
– Little Johnny’s hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
– Little Johnny replied: “That’s how Mommy knows supper is ready!”