Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Little Johnny wrote: “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!”
– Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother …”

Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”
– Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.”
– Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.” “Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”

Teacher: “Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?”
– Little Johnny: “I want to know how it ends!”

Teacher: “Little Johnny, how do you spell “elephant”?”
– Little Johnny: “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”
– Teacher: “No Johnny, that in incorrect.”
– Johnny: “Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.”

Teacher: “What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age?”
– Little Johnny: “The sausage!”

Little Johnny made it to the final round of the spelling bee.
– Proctor: Spell there
– Johnny: Can you use it in a sentence?
– Proctor: They’re having trouble finding their tickets to board that train over there.
– Johnny: Can you give me the definition?

Teacher: “Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
– Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.”

Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

What if little johnny was doing drugs? johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa…

Teacher: “Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes!”
– Little Johnny: “We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards!”

Five year old Little Johnny was lost….
so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”
– The policeman said, “What’s he like?”
– Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Teacher: “Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?”
– Little Johnny: “Me!”

During the soccer match little Johnny sits in the front row with his friend.
– His friend asks: ”How did you get tickets?”
– ”From my brother” little Johnny replies.
– ”And where is your brother?”
– ”At home looking for his ticket..”.

Teacher: “Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.”
– Little Johnny: “When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!”

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.
– Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
– Little Johnny replied: “They couldn’t get a baby sitter.”

Little Johnny’s family is sitting at the dinner table.
– Father: “Can you please pray for dinner!”
– Little Johnny: “Dear God. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Dad’s computer. Amen!”