Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids so I came and hellped
– He won’t stand against the three of us!

Teacher: “Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine.”
– Little Johnny smiles.
– Teacher: “So what’s so funny about it?”
– Little Johnny: “It’s snowing!”

Davy: “Johnny, aren’t you coming out to play today?”
– Johnny: “No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework.”

Little Johnny wrote: “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!”
– Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother.”

Little Johnny says to his Dad: ”Dad, will you do my math for me?”
– His Dad replies: ”No, son, it wouldn’t be right.”
– Little Johnny responds: ”Well, you could try…”

Teacher: “Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?”
– Little Johnny: “Me!”

Little Johnny, can you tell me what “Monumental” means?
– “It means acting crazy,” says little Johnny.
– “Where did you hear that?” the teacher asks.
– “From the Jamaican guy next door.

Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
– “My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
– “Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
– “It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear,” insisted Johnny. “I had to force him, but he ate it!”

Little Johnny’s father farted. The son asked his father: “What was that?”
– His father said: “My sweet that is ‘north wind’”
– When he went to school the teacher asked the class: “Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: “My daddy’s ass!”

During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.
– A friend asks “Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?”
– Johnny replies “I got a ticket from my sister.”
– The friend asks “and where is your sister?”
– Johnny says “Back at home, looking for her ticket.”

Teacher: “I told you to stand at the end of the line?”
– Little Johnny: “I tried, but there was someone already there!”

Did you know Johnny Cash and Eddie Money were really good friends?
– They both had common cents.

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
– Little Johnny replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
– Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!” Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”
– Little Johnny: “Up and down or across?”

– Teacher: “What do you mean?”

– Little Johnny: “Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!”

Teacher: “Where does your mother come from?”
– Little Johnny: “Alaska!”
– Teacher: “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself!”

Johnny was a chemist, a chemist who’s no more
– What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”