Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Teacher: “Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?”
– Little Johnny: “A teacher miss.”

Mother: “How was math today?”
– Little Johnny: “Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn’t know. Today she asked us again!”

Why did Johnny Depp lose his court case?
– Because he didn’t have Heard immunity

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”
– His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”
– Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Your losing all your friends but never any calories

Little Johnny: “I’m not going back to school ever again!”
– Mom: “Why not?”
– Little Johnny: “The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!”

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Johnny?”
– “Well, my goldfish died,” replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied… “That’s because he’s inside your cat!”

Little Johnny to his mom: “I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!”
– Mom: “Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?”
– Little Johnny: “Not really, we played 2 – 2.”

Teacher Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a
good cook.

Little Johnny wrote: “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!”
– Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother …”

Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”
– Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.”
– Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.” “Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”

Teacher: “Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?”
– Little Johnny: “I want to know how it ends!”

Teacher: “Little Johnny, how do you spell “elephant”?”
– Little Johnny: “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”
– Teacher: “No Johnny, that in incorrect.”
– Johnny: “Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.”

Teacher: “What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age?”
– Little Johnny: “The sausage!”

Little Johnny made it to the final round of the spelling bee.
– Proctor: Spell there
– Johnny: Can you use it in a sentence?
– Proctor: They’re having trouble finding their tickets to board that train over there.
– Johnny: Can you give me the definition?

Teacher: “Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
– Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.”