Little Johnny jokes in 2025

What did little Johnny’s mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?
– She grounded him.

Teacher: “What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?”
– Little Johnny: “I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!”

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.
– ”If you had eleven dollars and I asked you for a loan of six dollars, how much would you have left?” said the teacher.
– Little Johnny replied ”eleven dollars”.
– ”Why eleven?” the teacher said.
– ”You may ask for a loan of six dollars, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it!” replied Little Johnny.

Teacher: “You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?”
– Little Johnny: “How did you know?”
– Teacher: “Fred’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you have added ‘Me, neither’!”

What did the police do when Johnny Cash got arrested?
– They made him walk the line.

Little Johnny’s preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: “Does anyone know what this is?”
– Little Johnny’s hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
– Little Johnny replied: “That’s how Mommy knows supper is ready!”

Teacher: “Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?”
– Little Johnny: “I suspect it’s around Hadrian’s garden!”

Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him “Johnny, where is your report card?”
– Johnny replies “sorry dad, I don’t have it”. His father is furious and says “why not?”
– Johnny replies “I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.”

Teacher: “Did you parents help you with these homework problems?”
– Little Johnny: “No I got them all wrong by myself!”

Little Johnny is in school and they have show and tell.
– The teacher asks the class to tell about something that happened in their family recently. When it is Johnny’s turn. he walks to the board and draws two periods “. .” The teacher asks him to explain.
– He says”My sister missed these and my parents are real upset.”

Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”
– Little Johnny: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”

Teacher: “Fred can you find me America on the map please?”
– Fred: “There it is!”
– Teacher: “Now, Johnny, who discovered America?”
– Little Johnny: “Fred did!”

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
– Little Johnny replied: “They couldn’t get a baby sitter.”

Teacher: “What is an island?”
– Little Johnny: “A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.”
– Teacher: “On one side?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, on top!”

Teacher: “Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!”
– Little Johnny: “Who, me?”
– Teacher: “Wow who knew, very well done.”

Teacher: “You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?”
– Little Johnny: “How did you know?”
– Teacher: “Fred’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you have added ‘Me, neither’!”

Don’t worry! I was drunk when I wrote that so I thought it was funny!

Teacher: “Name an animal that lives in Lapland?”
– Little Johnny: “A reindeer.”
– Teacher: “Good, now name another.”
– Little Johnny: “Another reindeer!”