Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Your losing all your friends but never any calories

Little Johnny: “I’m not going back to school ever again!”
– Mom: “Why not?”
– Little Johnny: “The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!”

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Johnny?”
– “Well, my goldfish died,” replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied… “That’s because he’s inside your cat!”

Little Johnny to his mom: “I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!”
– Mom: “Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?”
– Little Johnny: “Not really, we played 2 – 2.”

Teacher Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a
good cook.

Little Johnny wrote: “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!”
– Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother …”

Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”
– Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.”
– Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.” “Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”

Teacher: “Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?”
– Little Johnny: “I want to know how it ends!”

Teacher: “Little Johnny, how do you spell “elephant”?”
– Little Johnny: “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”
– Teacher: “No Johnny, that in incorrect.”
– Johnny: “Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.”

Teacher: “What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age?”
– Little Johnny: “The sausage!”

Little Johnny made it to the final round of the spelling bee.
– Proctor: Spell there
– Johnny: Can you use it in a sentence?
– Proctor: They’re having trouble finding their tickets to board that train over there.
– Johnny: Can you give me the definition?

Teacher: “Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
– Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.”

Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
– Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

What if little johnny was doing drugs? johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa…

Teacher: “Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes!”
– Little Johnny: “We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards!”

Five year old Little Johnny was lost….
so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”
– The policeman said, “What’s he like?”
– Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”