Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”
– Little Johnny: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”

Teacher: “Fred can you find me America on the map please?”
– Fred: “There it is!”
– Teacher: “Now, Johnny, who discovered America?”
– Little Johnny: “Fred did!”

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
– Little Johnny replied: “They couldn’t get a baby sitter.”

Teacher: “What is an island?”
– Little Johnny: “A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.”
– Teacher: “On one side?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, on top!”

Teacher: “Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!”
– Little Johnny: “Who, me?”
– Teacher: “Wow who knew, very well done.”

Teacher: “You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?”
– Little Johnny: “How did you know?”
– Teacher: “Fred’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you have added ‘Me, neither’!”

Don’t worry! I was drunk when I wrote that so I thought it was funny!

Teacher: “Name an animal that lives in Lapland?”
– Little Johnny: “A reindeer.”
– Teacher: “Good, now name another.”
– Little Johnny: “Another reindeer!”

I found out the real reason Johnny Cash only wore black.
– So they wouldn’t call him Johnny Clash.

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
– Do any of you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
– Little Johnny replies, “Because George was the one holding the axe?

Teacher: “Can you count to 10?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, teacher – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”
– Teacher: “Now go on from there.”
– Little Johnny: “Jack, Queen, King.”

Johnny Depp gets so immersed in his characters that I can never tell if its him or not…
– I guess i have really bad Depp perception

Teacher: “What came after the stone age and the bronze age?”
– Little Johnny: “The sausage!”

Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
– “No,” says his mom, “Of course not.”
– After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, “It’s OK, we can keep playing!”

Little Johnny: “Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?”
– Mum: “No it doesn’t my son.”
– Little Johnny: “Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed …”

Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you copying from David’s work!”
– Little Johnny: “I hope you didn’t too!”

Little Johnny’s father asked for report card. Johnny replied, “I don’t have it.” “Why not?”
– His father asked. “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.
– “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to believe in!”