Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Little Johnny: “Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?”
– Mum: “No it doesn’t my son.”
– Little Johnny: “Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed.”

Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”
– Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

Parents: “OH! honey, we were just wrestling!”
– Little Johnny: “OK! I’ll join you!”

Teacher: “Who can tell me where Hadrians’ Wall is?”
– Little Johnny: “I suspect it’s around Hadrian’s garden!”

Johnny was looking out the window, straining his eyes…
– trying to read a billboard a half mile away. When his friend asked him what he was doing, Johnny said, “my mom says I can only go out and play if I have super vision”.

Teacher: “Can you count to 10?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”
– Teacher: “Now go on from there.”
– Little Johnny: “Jack, Queen, King.”

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?”
– Little Johnny replies, “HIJKLMNO”!
– The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?”
– Little Johnny replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”

Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.
– She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight.
– Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”

Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby.”
– The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”

Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”

– Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

Little Johnny asks his mum…
– “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land’?”
– “No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed.“
– “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home late.”

“And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother.
– “Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“

A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
– After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”
– “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”

Little Jonny tried phone sex but the holes was too small.

Teacher: “What is further away, Australia or the Moon?”
– Little Johnny: “Australia, you can see the Moon at night!”

If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year?
– Diabetes

Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
– Little Johnny: “At the bottom!”

Teacher What a pair of strange socks you are
wearing, one is
green
nd one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another
pair of the
same at home.