Little Johnny jokes in 2025

Teacher: “I’m glad to see your writing has improved.”
– Little Johnny: “Thank you!”
– Teacher: “Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!”

Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”

– Little Johnny: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”

Little Johnny went to school sick one
– Coughing and sneezing the teacher approached him and said
“If you’re sick you should stay home we don’t want you to get the other children sick”
– Johnny replied
“But you said I’d never be able to pass anything!”

Little Johnny: “Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?”
– Mum: “No it doesn’t my son.”
– Little Johnny: “Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed.”

Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”
– Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

Parents: “OH! honey, we were just wrestling!”
– Little Johnny: “OK! I’ll join you!”

Teacher: “Who can tell me where Hadrians’ Wall is?”
– Little Johnny: “I suspect it’s around Hadrian’s garden!”

Johnny was looking out the window, straining his eyes…
– trying to read a billboard a half mile away. When his friend asked him what he was doing, Johnny said, “my mom says I can only go out and play if I have super vision”.

Teacher: “Can you count to 10?”
– Little Johnny: “Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”
– Teacher: “Now go on from there.”
– Little Johnny: “Jack, Queen, King.”

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?”
– Little Johnny replies, “HIJKLMNO”!
– The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?”
– Little Johnny replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”

Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.
– She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight.
– Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”

Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby.”
– The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”

Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”

– Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

Little Johnny asks his mum…
– “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land’?”
– “No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed.“
– “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home late.”

“And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother.
– “Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“

A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
– After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”
– “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”

Little Jonny tried phone sex but the holes was too small.

Teacher: “What is further away, Australia or the Moon?”
– Little Johnny: “Australia, you can see the Moon at night!”