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Library jokes 📚 in 2025

I tried to make a reservation at the library yesterday, but couldn’t…
– Turns out, they’re completely booked!

The cop said if I didn’t pay my library fine he would have to book me.

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.
– The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

What did the librarian say to the woman who issued too many books?
– Try not to overdue it.

I wanted to improve my physical affection skills, so I went down to the library and took out a book called “How to Hug”…
…You can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be volume six of the Oxford English Dictionary

A blind man walks into a library and asks, “Do you have any books on tape?”
– The librarian says, “Yes we do, but it’s not a very interesting subject.”

A guy goes to the library and asks the librarian
Guy: “Do you have any books on turtles?”

Librarian: “Hardback?”

Guy: “Yeah, and with little heads.”

What do librarians say?
– I have not metadata I did not find likable.

What did the library book say after her friend noticed she got thinner?
– “I got my appendix removed.”

Why did dinosaurs go extinct?
– Because they did not read

My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library.
– I said it’s for shelf-defense.

How do books about colors introduce themselves to the reader?
– Yellow! Orange you happy that I will make you well red?

How did the librarian slip and fall?
– She was working in the non-friction section.

*At the library*
“Do you have a book about the discrimination of dwarves?”
“Left corner, on the top shelf!”

I got fired from my job at the library…
– Apparently the book on women’s rights doesn’t belong in the fiction section.

What did the librarian say to the child?
– **Read More**

What does the librarian say to her beloved philosophy book?
– Dewey look great or not?

When I want to read fiction, I go to the library.
– When I want to read nonfiction, I go to the truthbrary.

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