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Library jokes 📚 in 2025

Why do ghosts always require more and more books?
– They go through the ones they have too quickly.

I wrote a novel about religious women.
– The library put it in the nun fiction section.

Where do libraries keep their books about various conspiracies?
– Right behind you.

I got distracted while studying Reading a book about abdominal pain in the library last night
– Someone ripped out the appendix

A Swedish man shows up to a job interview
The interviewer says, “Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?”
“I went to Yale”, he replied.
“Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?”
“Yacking off in the library”

Presidential Library Ideas: Former President Donald J Trump
– A children’s section with cages for kids to sit in and read.

Bookkeepers are problems for libraries.

Why did the local library ban drinks for people who read there?
– Because a person poured some milk on the serials.

A village idiot walks into a library
He goes to the librarian and says, “Ma’am, I’m looking for a book by Shakespeare.”
The librarian says, “Sure, hon. Which one?”
The idiot says, “William”.

Why did the book of incantations fail to work?
– They forgot to run a spell check on it.

A university student placed an inter-library loan request for Your Mom
– The file was too large to be delivered.

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s Cat
– She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

Why does Dracula frequent the library?
– He likes to sink his teeth into good books.

Library patron: Can I get the book on Kyrsten Sinema’s re-election?
Librarian: Is this a joke?
Library Patron: Yeah, that’s the one.

How do librarians show affection to the love of their lives?
– They say ISBN thinking about you all day.

Presidential Library
– The plans have been revealed for Trump’s Presidential library. It will only have picture books.

A blonde woman walks into a library and says to the lady at the front desk,” I’ll have a cheeseburger, a large fries, and a Pepsi.”
The lady replies, “Ma’am, this is a library.”
The blonde looks around, then whispers, “I’ll have a cheeseburger, a large fries, and a Pepsi.”

Did you hear you can’t make reservations at the library?
– They’re fully booked!

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