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Library jokes 📚 in 2025

Why can nobody find books on magic in a library?
– Because they disappear.

Why did the library authorities fire the librarian?
– He was so checked out all the time.

Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the library.
Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the local library the other day.
He said, “I wonder if the have any colored printers.”
I replied, “Geeze, Terrell, it’s 2021, use whatever printer you want.”

Why do Ewoks talk quietly in the library?
– They use their Endor voices.

I finally found where the librarian is storing the books on theoretical physics
– In the Non-Friction section

Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice, “NO, I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy ‘s table and said, “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice, “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT ‘S WAY TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, “I study law, and I know how to screw people.”

Why do bookworms never go out?
– Because they are always booked.

I tried making a reservation at the library…
..they said that they were fully booked.

Why do ghosts always require more and more books?
– They go through the ones they have too quickly.

I wrote a novel about religious women.
– The library put it in the nun fiction section.

Where do libraries keep their books about various conspiracies?
– Right behind you.

I got distracted while studying Reading a book about abdominal pain in the library last night
– Someone ripped out the appendix

A Swedish man shows up to a job interview
The interviewer says, “Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?”
“I went to Yale”, he replied.
“Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?”
“Yacking off in the library”

Presidential Library Ideas: Former President Donald J Trump
– A children’s section with cages for kids to sit in and read.

Bookkeepers are problems for libraries.

Why did the local library ban drinks for people who read there?
– Because a person poured some milk on the serials.

A village idiot walks into a library
He goes to the librarian and says, “Ma’am, I’m looking for a book by Shakespeare.”
The librarian says, “Sure, hon. Which one?”
The idiot says, “William”.

Why did the book of incantations fail to work?
– They forgot to run a spell check on it.

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