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Library jokes 📚 in 2025

Dwarf enters the library
“One book on discrimination of dwarves, please.” – says the dwarf
“Third row…” – replies the librarian – “top shelf.”

What did the librarian say to the girl who returned her book late?
– You have fine written all over you.

Found a Chinese history book in the library…
– It reads “In 1989 ***Nothing Happened***”.

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic.
“Oh yes, quite a few,” the librarian said.
“Sorry to hear that!” I said laughing. “They’ll all be ruined by now!”

It’s okay to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.

Library
– Why did the library refuse to lend a German a book on the second world war?
Because they lost the first one.

What does a religion enthusiast say to her religious library book?
– Our bond is canon.

How did the reader feel after reading a book about colors?
– It blue him away.

What did the reader feel like after reading the book about singularity?
– It really sucked her in.

I finally found where the librarian is storing the books on theoretical physics
– In the Non-Friction section

Why can nobody find books on magic in a library?
– Because they disappear.

Why did the library authorities fire the librarian?
– He was so checked out all the time.

Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the library.
Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the local library the other day.
He said, “I wonder if the have any colored printers.”
I replied, “Geeze, Terrell, it’s 2021, use whatever printer you want.”

Why do Ewoks talk quietly in the library?
– They use their Endor voices.

Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice, “NO, I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy ‘s table and said, “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice, “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT ‘S WAY TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, “I study law, and I know how to screw people.”

Why do bookworms never go out?
– Because they are always booked.

I tried making a reservation at the library…
..they said that they were fully booked.

Why do ghosts always require more and more books?
– They go through the ones they have too quickly.

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