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Library jokes 📚 in 2025

What does the librarian say to her beloved philosophy book?
– Dewey look great or not?

When I want to read fiction, I go to the library.
– When I want to read nonfiction, I go to the truthbrary.

What did the librarian say to the guy who said he disliked ‘Lord Of The Rings?’
– “Do you even know what you are Tolkien about?”

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov’s dog and Shrodinger’s Cat.
– The librarian said, “That rings a bell but I don’t know if it’s here or not.”

Why do ghosts frequently visit the library?
– They go through the books very quickly.

A chicken goes into a library.
He goes up to the counter.
“Book book book!” He squawks.
Amused, the librarian grabs three random books from the return stack and gives them to the chicken who leaves with them.
The next day the chicken returns the three books and says “book book book” again. He gets his three books and leaves.
Once more the chicken brings them back and gets three more. This time the librarian follows the chicken, overcome with curiosity as to why a chicken would need so many books.
The chicken comes to a pond where a frog is waiting. The frog looks at each of the books his chicken friend has brought and assesses each one.
“Reddit, Reddit, Reddit.”

Nerdy physics and psychology joke thought I’d share.
I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog going on an adventure but I couldn’t remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they’ve got it. Looked around and couldn’t see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she replied:
“It certainly rings a bell but I don’t know if we’ve got it or not”

Did you hear the news that Trump’s personal library burnt down?
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn’t even finish colouring the second one.

I just got a new job at a prison library.
– It has its prose and cons.

Don’t ever bother taking a frog to a library…
Don’t ever bother taking a frog to a library…
Every book i gave him all I got was
REDDIT

[Library] Me: I want to learn more about corals.
Librarian: You’ll find them under C.
Me: I already know where they live, sir. I wanna learn more.

Why does nobody ever invite John Milton to game nights?
– Because whenever he comes, there is a pair of dice lost.

A prisoner in North Korea goes to the prison library to borrow a book of an author activist
– The librarian says, “We don’t have his book, but we have him.”

A guy goes to the library and asks the librarian
Guy: “Do you have any books on turtles?”
Librarian: “Hardback?”
Guy: “Yeah, and with little heads.”

Why are libraries considered to be the highest buildings by everyone? They have too many stories.

Did you hear about the fire in the redneck’s library?
– Both the books got burned, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet.

What happens when someone visits the library and asks the librarian for a book on cliffhangers?
– She says…

I called the library and asked if they could tell me when the Mesozoic Era started.
She said, “About 250 million years ago.”
I said, “Could you be more specific? It’s for homework.”
She said, “Hang on a minute.”
She came back and said, “It started September 17, two-hundred and fifty-one million years BC.”

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