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Lawyer jokes ⚖️✒️ in 2025

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
– A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? -If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
-You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you’d been there eight hours.

what do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
– Not enough sand.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? -The pronunciation.

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? -About three pounds, including the urn.

What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
— Taller.

What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? -There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?
-Lawyer’s don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes

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