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Lawyer jokes ⚖️✒️ in 2025

What is the difference between a brilliant lawyer and a stupid lawyer? -Brilliance has its limits

What do yu call 25 skydividing lawyers?
– Skeet.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? -Professional courtesy.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?

-The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
– The lawyer changes more

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
– After you die, a leech stpops sucking your blood.

What do lawyers use for birth control? -Their personalities.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 30?
-A lawyer.

why are lawyers buried in deeper graves than other folks?
– Deep down, they’re much nicer people.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? -One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

How do lawyers get involved in philanthropy? -They sue a charity.

Whats black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
– A doberman pinscher.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? -The bucket.

How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
-You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!

whats the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
– The tick falls when you are dead.

Whats the difference between a lawyer and God? -God doesn’t think hes a lawyer.

Where does a vampire learn how to suck blood? -During his first year of Law School.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 80?
-Your honor.

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