Knee jokes 🦵 in 2025

Doctor’s are always hitting their patients on the knee to test their reflexes. They really get a kick out of it.

Why did the orthopedic doctor always put hats on the knees of his patients?
– This was because he wanted to make sure that their knee-caps were alright!

What was the doctor not too sure about the right knee replacement surgery?
– Because he was a cy-knee-c!

I’m getting the word phoney tattooed under my knee
Phoney below knee.
Also. Not joking, totally doing it.
Update: https://imgur.com/a/A3MNdk1

Here is an actual sign posted in a golf club.
1. Back straight, knees bent.
2. Feet shoulder width apart.
3. Form a loose grip.
4. Keep your head down!
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.
8. Don’t stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please while others are preparing.
10. Don’t take extra strokes.

Well done. Now, flush the urinal and go outside and tee off.

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
– The head nurse.

An atheist was hiking in the woods…
An atheist was hiking in the woods…
When suddenly a bear appeared. The atheist was scared out of his mind and started running, but he couldn’t outrun the bear
Finally the atheist fell to his knees and did the one thing he thought he would never do: Pray
He fervently prayed “Oh God, I am about to be killed by a bear. I will never become a Christian, but please, please make this bear a Christian bear”
After praying the atheist turned around to see if the bear stopped chasing him. To his relief, it stopped right behind him, breathing down on him. He was amazed!
But then, to his horror, the bear smacked his paws together and said “Oh Father in the heavens, thank you for this meal I am about to partake”

Do you know Chinese people have very bad knees?
– When they meet each other, they often ask: “knee how?”

Why was the artist drawing abstract knee pictures for his new series?
– Because he said, it was a ma-knee-festation of his imagi-knee-tion!

A cop is driving down the freeway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees
He pulls alongside the granny, and angrily shouts “pull over!”
The granny shouts back, “no, it’s a scarf”

An old woman decided she’s had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide…
… She decided she was going to shoot herself in the heart. So she calls her doctor and asks him “doctor, where is the heart located in the body?”
“Just below your left breast” the doctor tells her.
“Thanks” she says, and shoot’s herself in the knee.

What is the cartoon about knees, that everyone loves to see, known as?
– They are called a-knee-me!

My grandpa would always tell me girls have two knees but guys have three
– You have your left knee, right knee, and your WEEknee

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.
– He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.

“Which knee is hurting you, Walt?”

The famous film producer points to his left knee.

“Disney.”

I asked my physician why he hits people on the knee with that little rubber headed hammer
– He said “just for kicks”

“Why have you got those marks on your knees?”
her friend asked.
“Oh, it’s making love, doggie style.”
“Well, why don’t you change positions?”
“I’m willing, but the dog isn’t.”

A man gets a phone call from the hospital…
He finds out his wife has been in a bad car accident and is in critical condition. So he immediately stops what he’s doing and rushes to the hospital as fast as he can.
When he gets to the waiting room, he frantically asks the doctor, “Where is my wife? Is she okay? What happened?”
The doctor says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid I have some bad news. The accident was more serious than we originally thought. Your wife will be crippled from the neck down. You’ll have to feed her, bathe her, and change her because she has no control over her bladder or bowels for the rest of her life.”
Hearing the news, the man falls to his knees and starts crying hysterically, “This is horrible!”
And the doctor starts laughing, “I’m just messing with you! She’s dead.”

What should we be calling a thirteen-year-old knee?
– You can get to call it tee-knee!