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Knee jokes 🦵 in 2025

What is the type of music that one should listen to while having a knee replacement surgery?
– One should listen to an apatella band!

Why was the patient feeling drowsy after his knee surgery?
– This was because he was given a strong dose of akneesthesia!

After I fell down and cut my knee, a friend said I should use a sodium chloride solution to make it heal faster
– It was really rubbing salt in the wound

What do you call it when someone complains about living on their knees?
– Genu-whine.

Dad will you patch my trousers?
– Sure, pass me the knee-dle and thread.

I have a skin disease called psoriasis
– It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.

Yesterday I was having a talk with my friend and he said, “I had a terrible row with my wife last night. But she crawled to me on her knees in the end.”
Half shocked and half impressed I said, “Wow – that’s really impressive! What did she say?!”
– My friend shrugged and replied, “Come out from under that sofa, you filthy coward!”

Where did the knee surgery expert go to learn about all things related to knees?
– He went to the U-knee-versity!

What do you call the nation of people who scratch their knees?
Itchinese.
Thank you and good night

What has two knees and swims?
– A two-knee fish.

What is the name of the cartoon channel related to knees that children like to watch?
– We call it Kneeckelodeon!

Jimmy goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
– The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
Jimmy says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. When I touch my knee it hurts! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
Jimmy was diagnosed with a broken index finger later that day.

Brunette goes to the doctor
– Brunette woman goes to the doctor complaining that every were she touches her body it hurts, doctor asks touch your face, she says it hurts he says touch your knee,she says it hurts, the doctor finally comes to the conclusion and asks the woman, you was born a blonde wasn’t you, woman says yes why, doctor says because your finger is broken.

At the end of our last argument, my wife was on her hands and knees before me!
And then she said: “Get out from under the couch, you coward!”

A blond goes to the doctors and explains ‘everywhere on my body hurts real bad’ . So the doc says ‘please show me where’. So she’s touches her elbow , ouch ! Touches her knee , oh it hurts , touches her nose , oh my that hurts !
– The doctor reply’s , no wonder you are blond .. your finger is broken !!

Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed
– A threesome with my wife.

Why did the knee surgeon have a lot of food every day?
– This was because he was a case of gluto-knee!

Which athlete was the first to take a knee?
– Tonya Harding.

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