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Knee jokes 🦵 in 2025

A pastor, a nun, and a blind man were talking about the best position to pray in
– The pastor says, “I think the proper way to pray is on your knees with your hands together and your head bowed.”

The nun says “That’s a good one brother Tim but I think we should pray with our eyes wide open looking up into the sky like a child would speak to their father.”

The blind man says “I don’t know much about those positions, but the best praying I’ve ever done is upside down in a well.”

I only learned recently that children are born with four kidneys, and later on when they grow up..
..two of them turn into adult knees.

A cop is driving down the freeway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees
– He pulls alongside the granny, and angrily shouts “pull over!”
The granny shouts back, “no, it’s a scarf”

What do you call a leg wearing a hat?
– A knee cap!

My wife and I had a huge argument today. By the time we were finished, she was on her knees begging…
for me to come out from under the bed and act like an adult.

What do you call a knee that is addicted to social media?
– You can call it a mille-knee-al!

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
– That’s just how I roll.

What should you be calling a festival celebrating the importance of knees?
– We should be calling it a Car-Knee-Val!

A Scotsman falls to the floor
– Knee bother

My wife and I just had a row and it ended with her literally on her hands and knees
– saying “Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!”

My doctor friend is addicted to hitting people on their knees to test their reflexes.
– He really gets a kick out of it.

I fell over the other day so one of my knees is grazed. It’s very jealous of the knee that is in one piece. There’s muti-knee between them!

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”
She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”
He said, “Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.”

How would one describe a knee that is weak and not strong enough to perform daily jobs?
– You call it pu-knee!

Why were the police trying to catch the knee surgery expert?
– This was because he had a lot of ammu-knee-tion!

Knee-dless to say, get well soon.

When the knee family went to buy a car at the showroom, which car did they decide upon?
– They decided to buy a Kneesan!

What do we say when a knee has reached the peak of its powers?
– We say that it has reached its ze-knee-th!

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