Knee jokes 🦵 in 2025

Mickley Mouse: “My knee hurts!”
Doctor: “Which knee?”
Mickey: “Disney.”

Don’t you think leg puns can get a bit cor-knee?

When I was a lad, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa.
– I accidentally took a misstep and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried.I’d always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.I’ll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones.

What is the name of the famous knee that is a big tourist attraction and brings in a lot of revenue?
– It is known as the mo-knee!

Why were the jokes about knee surgery so hilarious that they were knee slappers?
– This was because they were very fun-knee!

You haven’t had growing pains yet?
– You kneed to hurry up!

Why do doctors give special attention to the knees of little children?
– This is because they are kid-knees!

Apart from a cap, what else does a knee like to wear?
– Well, the knee absolutely loves to wear the beaknee!

One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .
– The son never sits on the brutish umpire.

I’m not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk!
– So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not old, I’m crispy!

I was one of the nomin-knees for the competition. I picked up third prize at the ceremo-knee!

I just don’t understand why everyone is making such a big deal about Eminem kneeling at the Super Bowl…
– He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…

What is the name of the Marvel Comics character who has extremely good leg parts?
– His name is To-knee Stark!

How did the patient pay for his knee surgery?
– He paid for it by giving knee-ckles!

What has two knees and swims?
-A two-knee fish

4 rabbis were golfing…
– Four rabbis had a tradition of spending a day each week golfing and discussing theology between holes. Very often they would argue, with three of them taking one side and eventually arguing the fourth one down.

One day, though, the fourth rabbi simply would not budge on his point – he swore he was right and that the other three were misguided. Exasperated by the stubbornness of the others, he fell to his knees.

“Oh, Lord, give me a sign to show that I am right and that these other three are wrong.”

Just as he finished, four storm clouds blew in over the golf course. Three all merged into a single larger cloud, but the fourth blasted through the larger cloud, dissipating it.

As smug as the fourth rabbi was, the other three insisted that this was nothing that couldn’t be explained by natural phenomena and that he was still wrong. Again, he fell to his knees.

“Oh, Lord, please give *another* sign to show that I am right on this.”

As he was finishing his prayer, a single storm cloud blew in and sent a fork of lightning down on four trees standing on a nearby hill. Three of the trees were destroyed and the fourth remained intact. Again, though, the three rabbis argued that it was a hot summer day and the occasional freak lightning storm didn’t signify anything.

“Oh, Lord,” he began again before being cut off by a billowing voice from the clouds.

“HE’S RIGHT!” the voice boomed.

One of the three rabbis simply shrugged at this. “Alright. So now it’s three to two.”

What is the knee that is an expert in martial arts known as?
– Well, you can easily get to call it a Knee-nja!

A pastor, a nun, and a blind man were talking about the best position to pray in
– The pastor says, “I think the proper way to pray is on your knees with your hands together and your head bowed.”

The nun says “That’s a good one brother Tim but I think we should pray with our eyes wide open looking up into the sky like a child would speak to their father.”

The blind man says “I don’t know much about those positions, but the best praying I’ve ever done is upside down in a well.”