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Kidney jokes in 2024

Hey guys, who is kidney…
– And what test is he failing?

I donate 1 kidney to a hospital and everyone thinks I am a hero
– I donate 10 kidneys and everyone thinks I am a monster

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?
– It clogs the P ways

Why can a teacher donate her adult-sized kidney to save a student?
– Because it’s a kidney, not an adultney.

Did you know humans are born with 4 kidneys?
– By 18, two of them become knees.

What do you call your kidneys once you turn 18?
– Adult-neys ROFL

Are you my uncles kidney?
– Because you’re a failure.

My wife said she wanted to be a kidney donor…
– I said, “When we have a child, I think they should keep their knees…”

My friend said she’s had kidney problems since she was 7
– I told her it’s fine cause once she turns 18 she’ll get adult knees

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you
– When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called – sheesh

I just found that my ex-girlfriend needs a kidney transplant
– But I’m not worried, because her body hasn’t rejected any organ in the last 5 years

Oh, sure. My friend donates a kidney to the City Hospital, and he’s treated like some hero.
– I donate five kidneys and I get arrested.

Medical students dread the test on kidney stones.
– It’s the hardest one to pass.

Why are GOP healthcare plans like kidney stones?
– They both hurt people when they pass

Nurse: Doctor, I have organized the list of donor’s hearts, livers, kidneys in alphabetical order
– Doctor: Wow, its very *organ-ized*

Thanos goes to his urologist.
– The urologist says, “Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone”

In case you ever have a urine test.
-The answer is urine comes from kidneys.

If someone asks you to make them lunch and you put kidneys and liver in a pita…
– Did you just make them an organ donair?

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