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Kidney jokes in 2025

What’s 120 pinto beans plus 120 kidney beans?
– Two-farty

I donated a kidney last year
– They still want to know where i got it from

Hey guys, who is kidney…
– And what test is he failing?

I donate 1 kidney to a hospital and everyone thinks I am a hero
– I donate 10 kidneys and everyone thinks I am a monster

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?
– It clogs the P ways

Why can a teacher donate her adult-sized kidney to save a student?
– Because it’s a kidney, not an adultney.

Did you know humans are born with 4 kidneys?
– By 18, two of them become knees.

I woke up this morning and one of my kidneys was gone…

Doctor said I had kidney failure.-
I asked “How can that be? I am an adult, I have adult knees.”

During an orga-n donation how do doctors decide which kidney to pick?
– They pick the right one.

I was in the hospital for kidney issues and the urologist told me I needed a cystoscopy. I asked him what the hell that was.
– “We are going to YouTube your Peetube.”

Did you hear about the fat kidney doctor who could predict the weather?
– She was a meaty urologist.

If animal organs were compatible with humans…
– Your dog would offer you his kidney even if he only had one that worked.

How many kidneys ya got?
– Told this one to my daughter a while back.

Why did the chubby kidney doctor go to the weather convention?
– He heard they were looking for meaty urologists.

Donate one kidney, they call you a hero. Donate two, they call you a saint.
– But donate three or more, and suddenly you’re a “monster.”

Jock McTavish is on his deathbed…
– His lifelong pal McGregor is sitting vigil by his side.

The UK doesnt have a kidney bank…
– but it does have a Liverpool

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