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Juan jokes 🌮 in 2025

Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same…
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

What do you call a rich Mexican?
– Part of the Juan percent.

This new guy Juan has been hanging out with me and friends lately and honestly, I’m not a fan. He very controlling and manipulative.
– And no Juan is going to tell me what to do.

A Mexican man is found unresponsive…
– A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within a few minutes and the attending physician marks the cause of death as “1/2”.
Curious, the nurse asks him what this seemingly unrelated fraction has to do with this man’s death.
The doctor responds “Juan over-dos”.

Mexican and black jokes are all the same
– Once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

When Trump was elected President, Juan was very worried.
I guess you could say it was because of Hispanic attacks.

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same….
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal…

“Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning.”
Ok, so it’s not a ‘joke’ joke, but that’s what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you’re really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.

Some people go, “oh!” And some people say, “wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?” and some people say, “oh my god, he *did?*” People always say something.

And then *you* say, “he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story.”

And you leave it there.

And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.

And you’ll eventually be asked, “what’s a golf gun?”

To which you say, “don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!”

How will Donald Trump deport 12 million illegal immigrants?
– Juan by juan.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
– Just Juan.

I watched a singles match between two Mexican fighters the other day
– It was Juan-on-Juan

The Mayor of San Juan was panicking
A reporter asked her what was wrong…
“Not only do I have to deal with the horrible conditions in my city after Maria, but now we have to prepare for another visit from a big ugly bag of wind.”
“You mean there’s another hurricane headed our way?”
“No, President Trump might fly over.”

Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course?
– I guess someone made a hole in Juan.

Did you hear about the drunk Mexican?
– He had Juan too many drinks.

Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?
– It’s about the chosen Juan.

I hate tacos!
Said no Juan ever.

How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn?
– Only Juan.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Juan.
Juan who?
Juan to hear any more knock knock jokes?

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