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Jeep jokes in 2024

I was driving a jeep in a new video game
– It was a little buggy

What does a shepherd drive?
– Ba Ba Black Jeep

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night
She ended up rolling in the Jeep.

My wife crashed the car listening to Adele,
– She was rolling in the jeep

A man goes on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. Whilst stretching their legs outside the jeep a lion jumps out of the bushes and corners the mother-in-law
– The man’s wife screams at her husband ‘Please! can’t you do anything to help!’

The man replies ‘The lion got itself into this mess, it can get itself out’

I like my women like I like my jeep
– Topless and easy to get into.

Anton Yelchin (Chekhov in *Star Trek*), was crushed by his Jeep.
You could say he died in a “transporter malfunction.”

A wealthy lawyer spent four weeks every year in his luxury treehouse in the hills.
– Every summer, he invited one of his friends to stay with him for a couple of days. One summer he invited a Czech friend to visit him. They spent a wonderful time there, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.
One morning, as they were picking some berries for their breakfast under the house, two huge bears, a male and a female, approached them. The lawyer had time to run for cover, but his friend wasn’t so lucky. The male bear swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran to his Jeep and raced to the town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and they raced back with the lawyer. Luckily, the bears were still under the luxury tree house.
‘He is in that one!’ yelled the lawyer, pointing at the male.
The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his shotgun, took careful aim, and shot the female bear.
‘Why did you do that?!’ exclaimed the lawyer, ‘I said he was in the other bear!’
‘Indeed. Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?’

I just bought a SUV…
… Because it was a’going Jeep.

I just named my new Jeep, “Elizabeth Warren.”
– It’s white. But it claims to be a Cherokee.

3 Soldiers are training for the army
3 Soldier are training for the army when their Commander ask each one of them the same question :

Commander : “If you are being pursued by an helicopter and you are in the drivers seat of a Jeep, what do you do to escape the emminent attack ?”

The first soldier answers :
“Welp, I think I would hide under the Jeep.”
Commander respond : “Of course not ! They will shoot the Jeep and you’ll blow up with it.”

The second soldiers answers :
“I would drive the Jeep in zig zags until I escape.”
The Commander respond : “No ! Not even close ! The helicopter will shot in the middle of the road and gonna’ hit you.”

The last soldier answers : “I would go super fast until I reached an intersection and then I would try to put my flasher left and turn right.”

A general is being driven in a jeep through the desert on the way to a training exercise.
– Out in the middle of nowhere, the jeep breaks down. The female jeep driver jumps out, opens the hood and starts working on the engine. The general, wanting to be helpful, finds a toolbox in the back and opens it. “Do you want a screwdriver?” he asks.

“Might as well, it’s going to be a while before anyone shows up,” she says!

A week ago my Jeep broke down and I had to scrap it
– Today I found out my friend got the exact same model Jeep.
I’m pretty sure its a reincarnation

Army Wargames
During an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

“Sorry sir, “said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”

The officer turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”

They helped.

I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA…
– For my black jeep…

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night
– She ended up rolling in the Jeep.

I just bought a JEEP and named her “Elizabeth Warren”
– Because it’s all white but it says it’s a Cherokee on the side of it.

What brand of car would the Roadrunner be?
– Jeep Jeep

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