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Insurance jokes 📋 in 2025

What did the doctor tell the chocolate after looking at his insurance policies?
– He said, “Laughter is the very best medicine, but seems that your insurance only covers Snickers and Laffy taffy.”

With all of today´s attractive accident insurance policies, a man can´t afford to die a natural death.

Local tightrope walker was unable to change his insurance because of his outstanding balance.

What kind of insurance do the florists cover?
– The wife insurance.

What do accountants use for birth control?
– Their personality.

I called my insurance agency when I got my Delorean and they said they would need $1000. It was ridiculous.
– I just wanted to drive it from time to time!

What is the first thing that the food truck owner did when he got insurance?
– He sought out a nom-nom-inee.

I thought my group insurance plan was fine until I discovered that I couldn´t collect until the whole group is sick.

An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Why doesn’t Santa provide any health insurance to his little workers?
– They all are s-elf employed.

At college, I had to write a paper on insurance and needed to write many in-text citations.
– So I decided to get a quote for it!

What kind of chocolate do insurance agents love?
– They love premium chocolates.

All the candle manufacturing companies get waxident insurance!

The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the policy.

Why couldn’t the great baker get any insurance?
– Because she was high whisk.

The insurances of Elon Musk’s rockets are astronomical.

My brother opened an insurance agency that specifically covered earthquake and fire damages.
– He named it ‘Shake n Bake’!

What is the one thing insurance agents can’t ever sell to a ghoul?
– Life insurance.

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