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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2025

Whatโ€™s a sheepโ€™s favourite Christmas song?
– Fleece Navidad.

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
– What?
– A cookie sheet.

Whatโ€™s the difference between Santaโ€™s reindeer and a knight?
– What?
– One slays the dragon, and the otherโ€™s dragginโ€™ the sleigh.

Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?

– Elephanta Claus.

My kids: Can we decorate for Christmas now?!
– Me: Sure. [Puts Santa hat on pumpkin.]

What do you call a kid who doesnโ€™t believe in Santa?
– A rebel without a Claus.

Whatโ€™s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
– What?
– Anytime!

What did the pepper say on its holiday card?
– I donโ€™t know.
– โ€œSeasonโ€™s greetings.โ€

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

– The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
– Itโ€™s Christmas, Eve!

โ€œOh, God, sorry, Iโ€™d love to talk and catch up, but, ah, man, Iโ€™m justโ€ฆIโ€™m petting this dog right now, soโ€ฆโ€
– Me, at a Christmas party.

What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
– I donโ€™t know. What?
– A pineapple!

What does an elf study in school?

– The elfabet.

What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?

– Comet.

Me: [Searches โ€˜Chanukahโ€™]
– Google: Did you mean Hanukkah?
– Me: I DONโ€™T KNOW, GOOGLE. NO ONE DOES.

It was the beginning of December. I noticed my four-year-old putting on her hat and coat, so I asked her where she was going.
– She said she wanted to see if Christmas was really just around the corner.

Who is Santaโ€™s favorite singer?
– I donโ€™t know.
– Elf-is Presley!

How much did Santaโ€™s sleigh cost?
– Iโ€™m stumped.
– Nothing. It was on the house!

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