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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2025

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, โ€œItโ€™s going to rain.โ€

– His wife asked, โ€œHow do you know?โ€

– โ€œBecause Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.โ€

What does Santa say at the start of a race?
– I donโ€™t know.
– โ€œReady, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!โ€

What is every parentโ€™s favorite Christmas carol?

– Silent Night.

Which of Santaโ€™s reindeer has the worst manners?
– Rude-olph!

A woman goes to the post office and asks for 50 Hanukkah stamps.

– โ€œWhat denomination?โ€ asks the clerk.

– The woman says, โ€œSix Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.โ€

Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
– Huh?
– Comet stayed home to clean the sink.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

– Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)

What do you call a snowman in July?

– A puddle.

What do you call Santaโ€™s helpers?
– Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
– I havenโ€™t the foggiest.
– An abdominal snowman.

Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
– Why?
– Because he went down in history.

What should you give your parents at Christmas?

– A list of what you want.

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
– An abdominal snowman.

Christmas movies rebooted as Hanukkah movies:

โ€“ Home Shalom
โ€“ A Christmas Carole King
โ€“ Itโ€™s a Wonderful Life When You Call Your Mother

What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
– Beats me.
– They both have sandy claws.

Why was Santaโ€™s little helper depressed?
– Dunno. Why?
– Because he had low elf esteem!

How do chickens dance at a holiday party?

– Chick to chick.

To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas presentโ€ฆ
– theyโ€™re due back at the library tomorrow.

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