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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2025

What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
– Not sure.
– Tinsel-itis!

What kind of ball doesnโ€™t bounce?

– A snowball.

Our new neighbours thought our Wi-Fi network was our last name.
– So when they gave us a Christmas card, they addressed it to โ€œThe Linksys Family.โ€

Where do Christmas plants go to become stars?
– Holly-wood!

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
– Why?
– Because the presentโ€™s beneath them.

Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

– Because it was Decembrrrrr!

What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?

– Ice Krispy Treats

Jeez, did Santaโ€™s agent turn down a single commercial?

I have decided to leave my past behind me in the New Year, so if I owe you moneyโ€ฆ
– Iโ€™m sorry, but Iโ€™ve moved on

Knock, knock.
– Whoโ€™s there?
– Olive.
– Olive, who?
– Olive the other reindeer.

What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?

– It looks like rain, deer.

I bought a treadmill because my New Yearโ€™s resolution is to have more things to put my laundry on.

Whatโ€™s red and white and falls down chimneys?
– Santa Klutz.

Knock, knock.
– Whoโ€™s there?
– Murray.
– Murray who?
– Murray Christmas, one and all!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
– I give up.
– Frostbite.

What did one snowman say another snowman?

– Youโ€™re cool.

My New Yearโ€™s resolution is to be more assertive, if thatโ€™s ok with you guys?

Experts agree the best way to save money on gift giving this holiday season is by alienating all your friends and family.

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