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History jokes 📜 in 2025

What was written on a knight’s headstone?
– Rust in peace!

The early ages in history are called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights.

The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.

We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us,
– “Don’t let this evolve into an argument.”

How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
– With hero-glyphics!

Why was Elizabethan England so wet?
– Because the Queen reigned for 45 years!

It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named,
– his father was after Jefferdad.

George Washington has sleeping problems only
– because he is unable to lie.

“The Mouse’s Tale” in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
– Toga-ther we can rule the world!

Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington’s army?
– Laugh-ayette!

In a fallen knight’s grave, the epitaph usually reads “Rust in Peace.”

When Napoleon is indecisive,
– he is torn-apart-e.

Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
– A: Floodlights!

Why was the king only a foot tall?
– Because he was a ruler!

The English Pilgrims’ favorite type of flower is the May Flower.

The Roman Empire was cut in half by a pair of Caesars.

When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class,
– I answered, “I have Noah idea!”

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