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History jokes 📜 in 2025

Why aren’t you doing well in history class at school?
– Because the history teacher keeps on asking me about things that happened years before I was born!

During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation

One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.

What’s an Ancient Egyptian’s favourite restaurant?
– Pizza Tut!

When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
– When they had a lot of sleepless nights!

There are countless marble-lous statues in Greece,
– but we always take them for Granite.

I wouldn’t say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40.
– It was non-friction.

“Now is the winter of our discontent/ made glorious summer by this son of York”

Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
– Julius Sneezer!

What kind of tea did the American colonists want at the Boston Tea Party?
– Liberty!

The type of lighting that Noah had used in his ark was Floodlights.

When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately,
– they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, “Need Tudoring?”

The Cyclops Episode in Homer’s Odyssey

Where do young Vikings hang out?
– In the Norsery!

What is the fruitiest subject at school?
– History, because it is full of dates!

A salad that requires to be eaten with 23 knives is called a Caesar salad.

While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class,
– our teacher told us, “If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan.”

Why did the mummy go for a relaxing spa and massage?
– He was all wound up!

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