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History jokes 📜 in 2025

What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
– Indepen-dance!

When Julius Caeser had met Cleopatra, he told her,
– “Toga-ether, we can rule the world.”

Napoleon conquered too much lang
– because he had too little Toulouse.

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
– A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

What do William the Conquerer and Kermit the Frog have in common?
– They both have the same middle name!

What do history teachers talk about at parties?
– The good old days!

Nobody knows about Napoleon’s brother because they were born-apart-e

When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein’s origin and history,
– he said, “I am relatively aware of it.”

Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
– Because he sphinx he’s the best!

King Arthur’s Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.

When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III,
– he told said, “Over my dead body.”

“But swear by thyself that at my death thy Son / Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;/ And,
– having done that, thou hast done; / I fear no more.”

Why didn’t the Romans have algebra?
– Because X always equalled 10!

Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
– It cracked me up.

The loveliest subject in schools History
– because it has so many dates.

Alexander did not like eating chicken legs
– because he hated defeat.

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
– A: By norse code!

What was written on a knight’s headstone?
– Rust in peace!

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