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History jokes 📜 in 2025

Once upon a time, there was a king who loves traveling through tunnels.
– The people gave him the name: Alex-Under.

Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary
– because she was burning everything.

“Great praise be given to God and little laud to the Devil.”

How did Vikings send secret messages?
– By Norse code!

Abraham Lincoln had a very difficult and challenging childhood.
Did you know that every day, he had to walk eight whole miles to school?
Well, he should’ve got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era,
– his favorite song would be “Club Can’t Even Handel Me.”

My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.

Why aren’t you doing well in history?
– A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!

What did Medieval postmen wear?
– Chain mail!

There are hardly any knock-knock jokes about America because freedom rings.

After having learned the history of chess,
– I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.

My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher.
– Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.

If you want to be good at making Greek pottery, you have to urn it.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
– The Pilgrims!

When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair,
– “I didn’t think you would embar go my dear one.”

Henry VIII had breathing troubles – he had no heir!

“Why should the number 288 never be mentioned in company?
– Because it is two gross.”

Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
– It was too far to swim!

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