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History jokes 📜 in 2025

The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad,
– it was tearable.

“Ask for me tomorrow, and you’ll find me a grave man.”

What was the Romans’ greatest achievement?
– Learning to speak Latin!

Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
– It was too far to swim!

Vikings used to send private messages using the Norse code.

When one is Russian for industrialization,
– there is no time for Stalin.

“Land-On Washington”

There was once a famous Viking called Rudolph the Red.
– One day, he looked outside and asked his wife to bring the washing in because it looked like it was going to be a wet day.
– His wife asked, “what makes you say that?”
– The Viking replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Why aren’t you doing well in history class at school?
– Because the history teacher keeps on asking me about things that happened years before I was born!

During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation

One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.

What’s an Ancient Egyptian’s favourite restaurant?
– Pizza Tut!

When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
– When they had a lot of sleepless nights!

There are countless marble-lous statues in Greece,
– but we always take them for Granite.

I wouldn’t say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40.
– It was non-friction.

“Now is the winter of our discontent/ made glorious summer by this son of York”

Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
– Julius Sneezer!

What kind of tea did the American colonists want at the Boston Tea Party?
– Liberty!

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