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Hillbilly jokes in 2025

The difference between a prince and a hillbilly is…
…one sleeps with a canopy over his bed, while the other sleeps with a can o’ pee under his bed.

John gave his hillbilly cousin Billy a phonecard. “You can make calls with this .” John then went to get a drink.
– In the corner of his eye, he noticed Billy whispering frantically into the card: “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?”

A hillbilly invites his new neighbor to a party…
he says “there’ll be a whole lotta drinkin’, dancin’, and screwin’…”

His neighbor asks if he can bring anything.

Hillbilly says, “you can bring anything you want, just goin’ be me and you…”

*credit to “Mad Men”*

What’s the difference between a redneck and poor white trash?
– a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.

What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common?
– They both give their relatives rim jobs.

What’s the best part about getting married when you’re a hillbilly?
– You only have to send invitations to one family.

Why do rednecks join the army?
– They get free food guns and ammo.

Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals?
– Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.

How do you castrate a hillbilly?
– You kick his sister in the jaw

I went to a hypnotherapist who said that, while I was under hypnosis, she discovered I was a hillbilly in a past life.
– Apparently it’s called “reintarnation”.

How do you casterate a Redneck?
– Kick his sister in the mouth

Why do hillbillys like to use dull knives?
– theyre not very sharp

I’m not trying to sound political and all but
– Hillbilly is short for Hilliam William

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?
– A full set of teeth…

Two hillbilly sisters are fighting about who is better
They ask their dad.
“Daddy who’s your favorite daughter?”
The father looks at both of them, “Your mother.”

Hillbilly murders are the hardest to solve
– They don’t have dental records and all their DNA is the same.

Why do rednecks join the army?
– They get free food guns and ammo.

How do you know when you’re staying in a hillbilly hotel?
– When you call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink,”
and the clerk replies, “okay, Go ahead.”

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