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Hillbilly jokes in 2025

What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working?
– Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work

What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?
– If you incest.

I finally convinced my hillbilly friend to get a Covid vaccination, but he doesn’t want Moderna.
– He says, just because she sang some good pop songs back in the 80s don’t mean she knows how to make a vaccine! .

What do you call a redneck swimming in the ocean?
– A saltine cracker.

Why do some goats scream like humans?
– They evolved this way to have a hillbilly rape alarm.

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner
After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, “how about Himalayan Woodchuck?”

“Himalayan Woodchuck?” the other hillbilly scoffed. “What in the devil is that?”

“You know,” the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, “because we found Himalayan on the side of the road.”

There are two kinds of Hillbilly women. Those who get married and have a lot of kids….
….and those who are a single and have a lot of kids.

Whats the difference between a hillybilly family reunion and a hillbilly funeral?
– At the funeral, there’s DEFINITELY one guy not enjoying the sex.

What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats.
– Bisexual.

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
– There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck

Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court?
– When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

How did the hillbilly find his cousin in the woods?
– Pretty good.

What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common?
– They both give their relatives rim jobs.

What do rednecks and a bottle of beer have in common?
– They’re both empty from the neck up.

A hillbilly invites his new neighbor to a party…
he says “there’ll be a whole lotta drinkin’, dancin’, and screwin’…”

His neighbor asks if he can bring anything.

Hillbilly says, “you can bring anything you want, just goin’ be me and you…”

*credit to “Mad Men”*

What is it called when a hillbilly comes back to life?
– Reintarnation.

Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
– That way they can both watch wrestling.

How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods?
– Pretty Hot

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