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Hillbilly jokes in 2025

[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw…

(Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)

What does a hillbilly girl say during sex?
– Get off me daddy, you’re crushing my cigarettes

A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.
Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says “watch this”……
“Pilot to control tower……hey there Hillbilly, guess who!!”
Control tower switches off the airport lights…..
“Control tower to pilot……. Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*”

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
– Ask a redneck!

Two hillbilly sisters are fighting about who is better
They ask their dad.
“Daddy who’s your favorite daughter?”
The father looks at both of them, “Your mother.”

What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
– The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

What do you call 4 rednecks pushing a pickup truck?
– White Power!

Redneck Geometry
Dale was the first of his hillbilly family to make it past the second grade.

One day, Dale’s pa asked, “What did y’all learn today in that geometry class?”

Dale replied, “Pi r squared”.

“Dadgummit!”, yelled Dale’s pa, “I knew that there fancy school tweren’t no good! Pie are ROUND! CAKE are square!”

What’s the difference between a redneck and a hillbilly?
– A redneck will kill you but a hillbilly will keep you

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
– A virgin.

Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve
– Because they all share the same DNA

Where does a redneck live?
– “Inbread”

What’s it called when a hillbilly gets resurrected?
– Reintarnation

Coming Back as a Hillbilly
Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A. Reintarnation

How does an redneck get a girlfriend?
– By responding to a message on the wall of a mens room at a truck stop!

The difference between a prince and a hillbilly is…
…one sleeps with a canopy over his bed, while the other sleeps with a can o’ pee under his bed.

John gave his hillbilly cousin Billy a phonecard. “You can make calls with this .” John then went to get a drink.
– In the corner of his eye, he noticed Billy whispering frantically into the card: “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?”

A hillbilly invites his new neighbor to a party…
he says “there’ll be a whole lotta drinkin’, dancin’, and screwin’…”

His neighbor asks if he can bring anything.

Hillbilly says, “you can bring anything you want, just goin’ be me and you…”

*credit to “Mad Men”*

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